6 Signs of an Abusive Relationship
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. A month to acknowledge survivors of domestic violence and to be a voice for those who continue to experience abuse. In an attempt to prevent and reduce domestic violence, it is important that we gain some understanding on what domestic violence and abuse is and how it impacts not only individuals but society in general. This month we bring you 6 Signs of an Abusive Relationship.
Before getting into the warning signs of abuse, let’s quickly share some quick facts about Domestic Violence.
Domestic Violence is abuse that occurs within intimate partner relationships. At times, it is also referred to as intimate partner violence.
Domestic Violence can happen in any relationship regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, socioeconomic status, nationality or religion—basically no one is immune to it.
Domestic Violence does not only involve physical abuse, but can include emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual, and financial abuse, all which may be a bit more difficult to recognize.
In the United States more than 10 million people experience physical abuse.
Domestic Violence is centered around a power and control dynamic whereby one partner exerts power/control over the other.
6 warning signs of an abusive relationship are below:
Physical Violence
This is the most obvious and well-known sign because it involves hitting, kicking, punching and other physical harm. It usually results in bruises, burns, and marks and can lead to other serious injuries and unfortunately has led to death in some circumstances.
Jealousy and Isolation
Does your partner ever act jealous of you and your relationships with friends or certain family members? Do they try to tell you who you can or cannot be friends with, where you can go, what you watch or listen to? Have you lost friends or stopped seeing friends because of your partner? In abusive relationships, jealousy can lead to the abusive partner being overly controlling and therefore leaving you feeling isolated from others who care about you—and you less likely to feel you can reach out for support.
Mood and Personality Changes
If you notice yourself feeling like you are constantly walking on eggshells, or nervous about what mood your partner will be in when they get home, or fearful of having disagreements, this may be reason to re-evaluate your relationship. Some examples of what this looks like includes treating you one way in front of others and another way when you are alone, or showing passive aggressive behaviors, denying that abuse ever happened or making light of it after the fact, harming you one minute and buying you flowers the next, basically a radical change in mood or behavior changes or if you are familiar with it, a Jekyll and Hyde situation.
Financial Control
Financial control may be easier to spot but it can also be subtle; for instance, your partner using being on a “budget” as a reason why you need to ask for permission to use any amount of money. Other signs of financial control include withholding access to accounts, preventing you from working outside the home, keeping you in the dark about finances, financial applications, accounts, documents and even signed agreements in your name that you are unaware of.
This kind of control can leave you feeling stuck with no financial means to support yourself should you decide to exit the relationship.
Criticism, Insults, Humiliation
Put downs, name-calling, gaslighting (creating doubt about your perception of reality to make someone believe they are crazy), belittling, manipulating, spreading rumors, blaming and shaming are all examples of signs of abuse. It may show up like your partner teasing you and then minimizes it by saying “it was just a joke” or labeling you as being overly sensitive. Essentially ongoing experiences of this does damage overtime leading to low sense of self.
Intimidation and Threats
Does your partner intimidate you by how he looks at you, or sends rude gestures? Does your partner break, smash or throw things? Does your partner threaten to end the relationship if they don’t get what they want? Threaten hurt themselves or you or your children? Withholds affection? These are all very serious signs that create fear in the victim and stops them from seeking support or talking about the abuse they experience.
Abuse can show up in many forms so keep in mind that these are just a few signs of an abusive relationship. Most importantly, no one deserves to experience any type of abuse in their relationships. If you are worried that you or someone you know are in an abusive relationship don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
If you're struggling, seek help. Sharp Wellness offers individual, couples, family, and group therapy to help support you and help you live your best life. Contact us now.
Resources:
https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS
https://www.genesisshelter.org/typesofabuse/
https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/understanding-power-control-wheel/
https://safespeaks.org
