When mental Health hits close to home
Mental illness, isn’t it interesting how two words can promote so much discomfort?
It seems that we are far more willing to admit almost any other impairments we may be experiencing, aside from those having to do with our mental health. For example, we may be completely fine with discussing the entire story behind breaking a bone, but will absolutely refuse to discuss any emotions related to depression, anxiety, etc. Unfortunately, there is a stigma related to mental illness, and although we may be improving, there is still quite a ways to go.
Accepting: it starts with us
Maybe, you are sitting here thinking, “yea yea, that is all fine and dandy, but I don’t struggle with mental illness.” Although this may be true, I can absolutely guarantee you that someone you know does. In fact, statistically speaking 1 in 5 adults struggle with some form of mental illness within the United States alone, and the first step is to recognize that it exists. Maybe it’s your sibling, spouse, parent, or best friend, but there is most certainly someone in your life that is living with mental health issues.
Learn about the illness
A great way to show that you want to be there for someone who is struggling with mental illness is to research the topic. A lot of the time, we may assume that we know everything about what the other person is going through, but it is very possible that we have been taught a version that may not be completely accurate. For example, the media loves to portray depression as someone who cannot get out of bed, or hold down a job, or even brush their hair. While this could be true, depression can also look very different. It may be present in a high functioning CEO, or even the mom who is always packing those super healthy lunches for her children on a regular basis. Mental illness can come in so many different forms, and diving into credible resources can be a great way to develop a more compassionate and understanding mindset.
Don’t Try to Fix It
Oftentimes, when we see people we care about struggling, our first response is to immediately jump to problem solving. For example, if someone were to say they were really struggling with depression, the first response may be to jump in and explain all the amazing things in their life that they should be grateful for. Although you may be trying your best to help, telling someone why they should be happy can often creates a narrative of “don’t feel this way.” While it may seem like the right move to try and be the savior, oftentimes what people need is to know that they are allowed to feel their emotions without the pressure to “feel better.”
Utilize “I” Statements
“I” statements are a great way to promote an environment of compassion. For example, “I want to be here,” and “I understand,” can make a big impact. While we want to use “I” statements, we also want to stay away from “you” statements, as they can easily bring about feelings of shame and defensiveness. Examples of these statements may include, “you should feel happy,” or “you just need to try harder.” It’s more important to be there for someone, than to try and “fix” them, which is ultimately what “you” statements are trying to accomplish.
Avoid Judgment
Sometimes it is not necessarily about asking the question of what to do for someone, but more so about knowing what not to do. One of the most important things to support someone struggling is to avoid judgement. Judgment is the root of why we often refuse to even mention struggles in the first place. It is terrifying to think that someone may not only lack understanding, but will also be a voice of criticism. Sometimes the best thing we can do when being around those struggling with their mental health is to just let them know that we are willing to be there.
End the Stigma
Even though it may seem best to ignore the topic of mental illness, what we truly need is people to stand together in support of ending the stigma surrounding it. We need advocates for mental health, and sometimes that can start by just being there for the people that are struggling in your own life. Be the change, make the difference!
RESOURCES
https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/how-support-someone-mental-illness
https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/NAMI-FaithNet/Tips-For-How-to-Help-a-Person-with-Mental-Illness
If you're struggling, seek help. Sharp Wellness offers individual, couples, family, and group therapy to help support you and help you live your best life. Contact us now.