10 Tips for Surviving Family During the Holidays from a Texas Therapist

The holiday season is a time for connection and celebration, but for many people, family gatherings can bring stress, anxiety, or even old tensions to the surface. Whether it’s navigating differing personalities, past conflicts, or simply managing the demands of a packed schedule, finding ways to cope can make all the difference in enjoying the holiday season. Here are some strategies to help you stay grounded during family gatherings:

1. Set Realistic Expectations

The holidays often come with high expectations of joy and harmony, but not every moment will be picture-perfect. Setting realistic expectations can help relieve some pressure. Accept that it’s normal for family gatherings to have ups and downs, and remind yourself that it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned.

2. Define Your Boundaries in Advance

Decide ahead of time what’s okay and what’s not when it comes to conversations, personal space, and commitments. If there are topics you prefer to avoid, such as politics or other sensitive issues, think about how you’ll respond if they come up. Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect, and it can help you avoid unnecessary stress.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

While we can’t control others, we can control our responses. Practice mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, to help you manage your emotions in the moment. By focusing on your own reactions, you’re better equipped to handle unexpected comments or tense moments.

4. Take Breaks When Needed

If you feel overwhelmed, give yourself permission to take a break. A short walk, stepping outside for fresh air, or spending a few minutes in a quiet room or bathroom can help you reset and recharge. Allowing yourself these small moments of peace can keep stress from building up throughout the day.

5. Practice Gratitude and Focus on Positives

Family gatherings are also an opportunity to reconnect with loved ones and create positive memories. Take time to appreciate what you do enjoy about your family—whether it’s a shared tradition, favorite foods, or simply the chance to be together. Practicing gratitude, even for small things, can shift your perspective and help you focus on the positives.

6. Prepare for Challenging Conversations

If you anticipate that certain conversations might come up, prepare some responses in advance. Keep responses simple and neutral, and don’t feel obligated to engage if you don’t want to. Sometimes, simply saying “I’d rather not talk about that right now” is enough to redirect the conversation.

7. Avoid Overcommitting

Holiday gatherings can bring full schedules and obligations. Try to limit the number of events you commit to in order to allow yourself time to recharge between gatherings. Remember that saying “no” when you need to isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your well-being.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

Family gatherings can bring up old patterns and memories, and sometimes these emotions can be hard to process. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay if you feel stressed, sad, or even frustrated at times. Showing yourself compassion can go a long way in helping you handle any difficult moments.

9. Set Aside Time for Self-Care

Making time for self-care is essential. Even small acts—like taking a quiet morning walk, meditating, or reading a good book—can help you recharge. Self-care practices can keep you centered and more resilient, so you can approach family gatherings with greater calm and positivity.

10. Remember You’re Not Alone

Family gatherings are challenging for many people, so know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Reach out to friends or a therapist if you need support during the holidays. Talking with others who understand can offer comfort, perspective, and even a bit of humor.